Have you ever been to Italy, or even an Italian home or restaurant and had a salad like this: sun-ripened, fresh tomatoes, olive oil, basil leaves and salt and pepper. And that’s it? And it’s like the most simple and delicious thing ever?
I was thinking about this earlier today and comparing and contrasting to some of the salads we used to offer at a cafe I worked at during University - Caesar, Ginger Soy noodle, Roasted Vegetable, Sweet Chilli Chicken. Now don’t get me wrong, those salads were tasty but also, an assault on the senses with their rich sauces and distinct flavour profiles . Especially when most people chose to have “your choice of 3 salads” in one large takeaway box.
Sometimes I feel like the world we live in is like the 3 Salads in a Box. You know what I mean? There’s a lot going on. Some of the stuff that’s going on is intense and difficult but even if we put that to one side for a moment, just looking at all the good stuff that’s going on, there’s a lot to take in. And it can be overwhelming.
I’m not sure what it’s like for you but on any given day I can open my email and find so many things that I’m really interested in. There’s newsletters by great thinkers and podcasters and interviews with wonderful scientists and movement coaches and courses with incredible spiritual teachers and social justice leaders and exercise scientists and movement teachers and yoga courses, oh my golly gosh, so many yoga courses! Same story over on Instagram. I follow some incredibly wise and thoughtful content creators there and there’s always something interesting to read.
Then if we consider all the news and the huge issues troubling our world today with the Climate Crisis, White Supremacy, Gender inequity, Capitalism, Colonialism - it’s a lot to learn and unlearn and action that’s needed and it takes a great deal of time and energy and commitment to tackle those problems. Oh and the pandemic! The bloody pandemic. And case numbers and vaccination rates and equity issues with the vaccine rollout. And the humanitarian crisis in Afghanistan and Papua New Guinea. Doesn’t your heart just ache for the world?
You’ll no doubt have your own version of this list of stuff depending on your interests and who you follow.
Do you ever feel like you’re not quite sure where to place your attention? Like you’re drawn in a million different directions? And then there’s also the dopamine struggle where you get a hit from all the exciting content and so it’s difficult to stop scrolling and give something the full attention that you might like to? So we screenshot it and carry on and we’re like little Pac-mans just constantly chomp, chomp, chomping on more, more, more, stuff, stuff, stuff.
Add to that all the input from your local environment, whatever’s happening in your backyard and over the fence and down the road in your community. And within your close friendship group and immediate family, those interpersonal relationship dynamics - all that stuff can be so consuming. And the stuff in your head (!) within your own life and personality, all the ‘mellow drama’ of ‘being Somebody’ as Spirtual teacher Ram Dass puts it. The trying to figure out who the bloody hell you are and what you’re doing on Earth. The struggle to live a meaningful life.
My golly there’s a lot to contend with, isn’t there? And it can be overwhelming.
And when we’re overwhelmed, it can be very difficult to do anything meaningful. We end up surface skimming, not tasting any of the flavours of life fully, or perhaps even fading out altogether, as it’s all too much.
So what to do?
Wonderful teacher jo buick introduced me to a concept called ‘titration’ which she describes as “a skill that involves being consciously discerning about how deeply we dive into an experience”. It was new news to me that we can consciously choose the pace at which we move into an experience and how much energy we’re willing to portion to the experience, depending on how resourced we feel in that moment but i’ve embraced it wholeheartedly. Instead of trying to be across everything and do all the things I’m keeping life really simple and slow. And I understand that as I feel ready, I can add more information or complexity to the experience by ‘titrating’ or adding more slowly at a rate that I can really absorb it.
In medicine they use that word ‘titration’ for the continuous measurement and adjustment of balance of a drug dosage.
I’m using the skill of titration now to create a concentration of input that works for me and doesn’t overwhelm my system.
What that looks like is:
- Limiting my social media consumption (I have a really crude system for this - I delete the app from my phone and reinstall it intermittently when I’m looking for a hit of connection and inspiration).
- Closing the old tabs on my computer screen (I usually have a gazillion open at once).
- Committing to slowly finishing the courses that I’ve started and the books that I’m reading.
- Taking my time with everything. I mean, we L I N G E R over breakfast these days (one thing I’m grateful for in lockdown) and when I’m putting out the washing and so on but I also don’t rush to respond to emails but rather allocate time for it every couple of days (I know - what a luxury!). And, I’ve been chewing on the idea of doing zoom classes and having a website for over a year now but felt like it was too much for me with moving house and all that was going on inside me and around me in the world. It feels right to do it now and I’m so glad that I feel ready.
- Taking my time and portioning daily activities ie. Instead of jamming three salads into one box, that is, doing multiple activities with the kids, I do one thing a day - one trip to the park, or the beach or a walk with the dog, not all three. Some days just going to the shops is more than enough excitement for me.
Alongside this, I’m also working out what’s most important to me and prioritising that and saying No to what falls outside of that as I recognise that my energy and attention is finite.
What I’ve noticed is that, perhaps unsurprisingly, I’m enjoying more fully and deriving greater pleasure from the things I am choosing to do. I have more energy for them and I’m more present and attentive. There’s also less resentment as my boundaries are clearer. And I feel like I’m making slow but purposeful progress with what matters most to me, which is really affirming. I think it’s what Mark Manson was talking about in his book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’ when he said you can give some f*cks but just not about everything.
I’m also better resourced to switch to, as my friend and social justice activist Nic Wayara puts it, ‘Responsibility Mode’ on the issues that are important to me.
It’s all a work in progress, this slow, sparkling, salad life of mine.
I’m leaving you here with some words from Meditation teacher Burgs. You can hear this little excerpt from one of his talks in the track ‘Burgs’ by Mt. Wolf.
”I, I think if I could get you to do one thing
I would say that when you get to the point that you...
Really feel, highly motivated, to, just, towards keeping your virtue...
Then you'll you'll discover quite quickly how extraordinary a life was meant to be, could be
And it's, it's just we get so messy, it's not that we are doing lots of wrong things, our mind is so messy
We don't keep it simple
And we end up making the life that we are living, so in-ordinarily complicated
Completely unnecessarily, and it's such a shame to end up feeling, in a real muddle, while actually, you ought to be having the time of your lives
It doesn't actually take very much to make the deepest part of us incredibly happy
You know?
Just to be here, just to appreciate
Appreciate being here
To feel that you're alive
To be in touch with your heart
That's it
That's it
It takes mindfulness to come to a human life
And then above that, it takes mindfulness and virtue, to come to a fortunate human life
The chance to be part of this happens briefly
The invitation is not to show how inventive and imaginative you are
But how much you can notice what you're already part of
And appreciate it and share it, and care about those that are around - look out for their welfare while you are looking out for your own, that's it
And then you'll get to the end of it, having had an awesome time
Knowing, that that is something you'd recommend to others
Ah
You all know
You already know this place inside, where it's alright
You all know that when you let the ego, it's not this black hole that you jump into
You all know it
Why can't we do it?
And yet the world is creaking under the strain of this in-ordinarily complicated mass of humanity and actually you know, it's really simple
When you came here
You came here with a sense of awe and wonder, dying to just see what it's about
You know, it's like, what would it be like?
To be down there?
To be part of it?
And you came here with a sense of wonder, and somehow the wonder of it wasn't enough and we stopped wondering and started to wonder about ourselves
And in your wondering about yourself, you forgot what you came here for, what you came to be a part of”
Alan Watts